Of J-Cloths and Saffron

"I never use J-Cloths." she says.

Then how is is that one day I use a J-Cloth and hang it over the drying rack and two days later it is missing?

"Not using" something, I point out, is not the same as "having put it someplace".

"I haven't made curry in years. So why would I have done anything with the saffron?" she says.

Then why did I find the saffron in a cupboard (not the one we keep spices in) and not in the box we keep it in

"Not using" something, I point out, is not the same as "having put it someplace".

The last time we had this discussion over J-Cloths (which I use because they are light, dry quickly, and aren't liable to fall off the rack and sit festering in the sink and so I don't have to use the heavy dishcloths she favors, precisely because they ARE heavy, don't dry quickly and fall off the rack and sit festering in the bottom of the sink -- or, equally likely, a pan full of filthy water), the offending cloth was found several days later on the bookcase where she left it whilst using it to wet-dust.

"I never use J-Cloths." she says.

"I haven't made curry in years. So why would I have done anything with the saffron?" she says.

Car repairs... redux....

I just got a call from Mom, in a panic because she called her bank for the 15th time this week to see if the rent cheque had gone through (Of course, since it was just deposited by the co-op treasurer on the Friday (a holiday, here in Canada) of a holiday weekend where monay is a bank holiday, too, it won't go through until at least the end of the week.).

At the same time, she checked to make sure that the money for the payment for the car repairs had been deposited (a month ago, to be exact) and, because she had forgotten that she had written all the information about the repair costs and has forgotten how much and when it was DIRECTLY DEPOSITED into her account, the bank rep said she "couldn't find cheques deposited in that amount".

Now Mother is convinced that the cheque for the repairs will bounce... It won't, of course, because the money was in and the cheque passed at least three weeks ago.

Gaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Car keys.....

Mother has a habit of "clearly recalling" a chain of events which have never happened.

Case in point:

"I can't find my car keys.... I came down stairs and made a coffee. Then I came in and sat on the couch and put my car keys on the coffee table. I remember because I said "Well, that's good. At least I don't have to hunt for my keys!" Now my keys are gone!"

After hunting again in her purse, on the coffee table, under all the couch cushions, in the kitchen, her coat pocket, and the front stairs, I run up and have a look in her room....

There they are! Right beside her dressing gown on the bed.

"Receipts"

For some reason, receipts are a fixation for Mother.

I am usually careful to rip up and dispose of receipts. If Mother finds a receipt, it is carefully scrutinized to determine what and how much it's for. If it isn't recognised, she pores over it, again and again. Since her eyesight is bad and with the added problem of some sort of loss of judgement makes it increasingly difficult to understand something that she is reading, even when it is clearly written, she cannot "read" the receipt. Her complaint is usually that "the stores are deliberately making the receipts hard to read". It is usually very clear when I look at it.

I often come out to the car to find her painstakingly trying to make head or tail out of a receipt for 30 cents and trying to remember what she would have spent 30 cents on. The fact that, in the scale of things, 30 cents doesn't really matter, doesn't strike her. The fact that she orders hundreds of dollars worth of useless and unneeded items from Publishers Clearinghouse is a big deal.... Loaning $5000 to a relative who already owes you $30,000 is a big deal. A 30 cent purchase from the dollar store isn't.

To Mom, however, that 30 cents represents some something I can't quite understand. To her, it represents a roof over her head or living on the street.

"The Car Repair"

A couple of weeks ago, we were in an car accident. (No fault. I was driving).

Last week, I took the car in for repairs. I had a little cosmetic work done at the same toime so we can trade it in next month. Apparently, the repair shop doesn't take cards.... Since I was counting on paying with my credit card and didn't have the money to give a cheque, Mom paid by check and I planned on transferring the money from my credit card into her bank account. No problem, right?

Problem.... I can't transfer directly into her account without deporiting it into my account first and then into hers. The credit card and the bank account both have maximium daily limits.... So this simply operation takes three days to accomplish. Meanwhile, Lionel at the repair shop is kind enough to hang onto the cheque until the money is transferred.

Day 1: Mom calls my office in a panic..... "I just checked my account! I don't have enough to cover the cheque!"

Explanation: "Lionel is hanging on to the cheque until I can make all the transfers. I can't do another transfer until tomorrow."

"But what about the cheque?!"

Repeat part about cheque beig held until I call and tell him it's okay.

"Ah!" says she....

"So you are going to put the rest in tomorrow." (Statement, not question)

"No Mom, $1000 tomorrow and $1000 on Wednesday. The cheque won't go out of your account untill all the money is transferred."

"Ah!" says she.....

Day 2: Mom shows up at my office in a panic...... "I just checked my account! I don't have enough to cover the cheque!"

Repeat explanation about check, Lionel, transfers, amounts.....

"Ah!"

Day 3: Mom calls my office in a panic..... "I just checked my account! I don't have enough to cover the cheque!"

Repeat explanation about check, Lionel, transfers, amounts.....

"Ah!"

Brainstorm: Get Mother to write this down in her accountbook, clearly, and read back to me.

Fingers crossed....